come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
