I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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