Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
