do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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