i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
