Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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