Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have peed in a lot of sinks
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
