Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
