He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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