I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
