You can't special order awesome
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize