just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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