So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
