Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
