She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I believe in your delicious
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize