She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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