this boner is exhausting
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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