I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
