What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
