He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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