are you so shy because you have an std?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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