The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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