your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
