Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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