i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
youre lurking in front of me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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