apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize