I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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