dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
