She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
