I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
