Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
