I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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