So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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