My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize