i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
