how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
