I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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