I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so much tequila, so little girl.
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