on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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