alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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