I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize