Whats the glycemic index on semen?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
