True but thats because hes a fetus.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my shit smells like andre
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
