we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
