Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
