so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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