fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
