She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
