You're so nebulous sometimes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
