Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
