I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
