spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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