I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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