Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize