Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My vagina is officially offended.
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