I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize