the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
