All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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