This girl is more easily done than said...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just google imaged poop.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
