oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
In America we eat man semen.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize