After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
