i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
