things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize