"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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