I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
