The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize